(FindLaw's Family Law Center)

Truth That Hurts......

Child Abuse: Definition

Child abuse is broadly defined in many states as any type of cruelty inflicted upon a child, including mental abuse, physical harm, neglect, and sexual abuse or exploitation. The specific crimes charged in instances of child abuse can include assault and battery. In many states, certain individuals and caregivers are required by law to report suspected child abuse. Nevertheless, unfortunately, many cases of child abuse go unreported.

A child who has been abused or neglected may experience a range of problems, such as relationship difficulties, lack of trust of adults, emotional outbursts (or retreat), low performance at school, depression, anxiety, and anger.

The Elements of a Child Abuse Charge

As noted above, child abuse is a crime that encompasses a variety of behaviors involving physical, emotional, or sexual mistreatment or neglect upon a child. State child abuse laws define child abuse as any act (or failure to act) that:

1. Results in imminent risk or serious harm to a child's health and welfare due to physical, emotional, or sexual abuse;
2. affects a child (typically under the age of 18);
3. by a parent or caregiver who is responsible for the child's welfare.

In most states, the harm must have been inflicted by non-accidental means. This includes intentional acts, actions that were careless (such as, allowing a known sexual offender or known abuser to be with a child alone), and acts of negligence (such as, leaving a child under a certain age at home alone). Also, the "harm" inflicted upon a child need not be actual, but may include "threats" or "risks of imminent harm".

In addition to state child abuse laws, all states have child protective services (CPS) agencies that investigate reports of abuse and neglect of children in a home. CPS also serves to place children who have been abused or neglected in safer homes, either through adoption or foster care.

Typical defenses include accident, wrongful accusations, and a parent's right to discipline.

Mandatory Reporting Laws

Every state has mandatory reporting laws that require certain people to report apparent or suspected child abuse to a central authority, such as via a statewide toll-free hotline. The reports -- which are often anonymous -- are meant to promote early intervention of child abuse.

Many states require "any person" to report suspected child abuse, whereas other states require mandatory reporting by certain professional, such as doctors, nurses, social workers, school officials, day care workers, and law enforcement personnel. In some states, failing to report instances of child abuse is considered a misdemeanor punishable by fines, jail time, or both.

Examples of warning signs of abuse of a child may include:

• Physical abuse - unexplained burns, bites, bruises, and broken bones or parent's philosophy of harsh physical discipline
• Emotional abuse - extreme behavior, delayed physical or emotional development, attempted suicide, and belittling by a parent or caregiver
• Sexual abuse - difficulty walking or sitting, reports of nightmares or bedwetting, sudden changes in appetite, sudden refusal to change in front of others or participate in gym activities
• Neglect - frequent absences from school, obvious lack of medical or dental care, severe body odor, stays home alone

See also:

• Child Abuse Defenses
• Child Abuse Penalties and Sentencing
• State Child Abuse Laws
• Crimes Against Children Section.
• Child Abuse (FindLaw's Family Law Center)

cited from Find Laws Family Law Reasources

The Way She Feels-Between The Trees

Truth That Hurts......














































Toni L.Vossen 2012

Characteristics of Narcissistic........ 1

Truth That Hurts...... Toni L.Vossen 2012

Mother Dearest  ch.1 "It's about secret things. The Destructive Narcissistic Parent creates a child that only exists to be an extension of her self. It's about body language. It's about disapproving glances. It's about vocal tone. It's very intimate. And it's very powerful. It's part of who the child is." ~ Chris   1. Everything she does is deniable. There is always a facile excuse or an explanation. Cruelties are couched in loving terms. Aggressive and hostile acts are paraded as thoughtfulness. Selfish manipulations are presented as gifts. Criticism and slander is slyly disguised as concern. She only wants what is best for you. She only wants to help you. She rarely says right out that she thinks you're inadequate.  Instead, any time that you tell her you've done something good, she counters with something your sibling did that was better or she simply ignores you or she hears you out without saying anything, then in a short time does something cruel to you so you understand not to get above yourself. She will carefully separate cause  (your joy in your accomplishment) from effect (refusing to let you borrow the car to go to the awards ceremony)  by enough time that someone who didn't live through her abuse would never believe the connection. Many of her putdowns are simply by comparison. She'll talk about how wonderful someone else is or what a wonderful job they did on something you've also done or how highly she thinks of them. The contrast is left up to you.  She has let you know that you're no good without saying a word. She'll spoil your pleasure in something by simply congratulating you for it in an angry, envious voice that conveys how unhappy she is, again, completely deniably . It is impossible to confront someone over their tone of voice, their demeanor or they way they look at you, but once your narcissistic mother has you trained, she can promise terrible punishment without a word. As a result, you're always afraid, always in the wrong, and can never exactly put your finger on why. Because her abusiveness is part of a lifelong campaign of control and because she is careful to rationalize her abuse, it is extremely difficult to explain to other people what is so bad about her. She's also careful about when and how she engages in her abuses. She's very secretive, a characteristic of almost all abusers ("Don't wash our dirty laundry in public!") and will punish you for telling anyone else what she's done. The times and locations of her worst abuses are carefully chosen so that no one who might intervene will hear or see her bad behavior, and she will seem like a completely different person in public. She'll slam you to other people, but will always embed her devaluing nuggets of snide gossip in protestations of concern, love and understanding  ("I feel so sorry for poor Cynthia. She always seems to have such a hard time, but I just don't know what I can do for her!") As a consequence the children of narcissists universally report that no one believes them  ("I have to tell you that she always talks about YOU in the most caring way!). ~Unfortunately therapists, given the deniable actions of the narcissist and eager to defend a fellow parent, will often jump to the narcissist's defense as well, reinforcing your sense of isolation and helplessness ~ ("I'm sure she didn't mean it like that!")  This is My Mother for sure.....   Get over yourself woman ITS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!