Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers......2

Truth That Hurts...... Toni L.Vossen 2012

Mother Dearest ch2 It's about secret things. The Destructive Narcissistic Parent creates a child that only exists to be an extension of her self.  It's about body language. It's about disapproving glances It's about vocal tone. It's very intimate.  And it's very powerful. It's part of who the child is. ~ Chris     2. She violates your boundaries.  You feel like an extension of her.  Your property is given away without your  consent, sometimes in front of you. Your food is eaten off your plate or given to others off your plate.  Your property may be repossessed and no reason given other than that it was never yours. Your time is committed without consulting you, and opinions purported to be yours are expressed for you.  (She LOVES going to the fair! He would never want anything like that. She wouldn't like kumquats.)  You are discussed in your presence as though you are not there. She keeps tabs on your bodily functions and humiliates   you by divulging the information she gleans, especially when it can be used to demonstrate her devotion and highlight her martyrdom to your needs  ("Mike had that problem with frequent urination too, only his was much worse. I was so worried about him!") Y ou have never known what it is like to have privacy  in the bathroom or in your bedroom, and she goes through your things regularly. She asks nosy questions,  snoops into your email/letters/diary/conversations. She will want to dig into your feelings,  particularly painful ones  and is always looking for negative information on you which can be used against you. She does things against your expressed wishes frequently.  All of this is done without seeming  embarrassment or thought. Any attempt at autonomy on your part is strongly resisted.  Normal rites of passage  (learning to shave, wearing makeup, dating)  are grudgingly allowed only if you insist,  and you're punished for your insistence  ("Since you're old enough to date,  I think you're old enough to pay for your own clothes!") If you demand age-appropriate clothing, grooming, control over your own life, or rights, you are difficult and she ridicules your "independence."